Have you ever felt like you were being alone? Like, you're among peoples but you felt like you're fighting alone.
I felt like I was failed, failed as a psychology student. I'm one of the pyschology peoples but I can't handle my own problem. I can't handle me. I can't handle my feeling. I'm trying to hold on but it feels so hurt and so lonely, I can't handle it.
I was asked for help, but no one really gave me a hand. I felt like I was alone and I felt like abandoned. Ironic, how life could turn 180 degrees easily like this.
I can barely share it, I can barely share it with anyone. I can't even talk about it. Nggak sanggup.
Sometimes, I just don't know what to tell, how to tell it, I don't know. I just keep it inside. Just for myself.
It hurts when you have to act strong when deep inside all that you want to do is only break apart. When all you have to do is to be peoples' strength but all you really need is peoples to be beside you. It such a pain.
I smile, I laugh, I chat, I act like nothing matters. But inside, my soul is breaking into pieces.
I need more strength. I need more patience. I need to be convinced that this isn't a big deal and my life will continue still.
But I just can't handle it. I'm weak. It's all beyond me. I don't have much energy left. I don't have the urge to fight anymore. I'm tired. I'm just very very tired.
I'm tired to act strong while inside I'm just as fragile as a wet paper. I'm tired to understand peoples while nobody tries to understand me. I'm tired to be okay while everyone else only being selfish. I'm tired with all of this. Why I'd to be the who cares so much when nobody else does? Why I'd to be the one who hold on so tight when everybody try to go?
I just want my family back. That's all I want.
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